8.03.2006
The Presents of our Presence
For the first time since we moved away from 'home' over 8 years ago, we are returning this year for Christmas. It's not that we don't love our families, please understand, but most of them come and visit us at least annually. It's less a question of burdening others with all the travel as it is one of making sure we are here when someone wants to come for a visit.
Beyond that, there are 2 main reasons we haven't done this before.
1. My dear husband hasn't had much vacation and much of the time off he has had has come when I couldn't be off and leave town.
2. It is very difficult to tell a beloved family member that only one day of your week-long trip is dedicated to them. When you're going back 'home' to visit, there is a lot of ground to cover (hooray for unlimited miles). We find we have more quality time with our loved ones when people come to visit us.
Well, with my husband's current job as a stay-at-home-dad and half-time college student, he have some time off to spare. Unfortunately, on one income, we don't have oodles of extra money.
I suggested to my husband that, since we had the time available, we use the money we would spend on Christmas gifts to travel 'home' and visit our families. I proposed that only the kids exchange gifts and that no one buy us anything.
You would have thought I was the Grinch that Stole Christmas.
No, no Betty Lou Who. No holiday joy for you! And may I ask you dear, while you're standing here, if you remember what I gave you last year? An unremarkable bauble or gift card to sears? My friend's brother's first novel or a year's worth of beer? You don't recall? I am appalled! Please think for a second what you got for a present!
Please.
I don't remember what my husband gave me last year. I don't remember what I gave him. It really isn't important.
To make my point, I told him that we were actually spending the same amount of money as we normally would. The airfare alone is $1200 and the car will be at least $300. For each of the 20 people we will see there for whom we normally buy gifts, this comes out to $75 each and that's more that we would have spent on them otherwise. The would get the pleasure of our company and several of them would get to meet our darling son for the first time.
He still wasn't convinced.
"Ok," I said. "Call your mother right now and ask her if she'd rather have another Harry and David's basket or us come home for Christmas this year." He didn't exactly say that when he called to tell her, but she did squeal with delight at the news. ¶ 21:35
Beyond that, there are 2 main reasons we haven't done this before.
1. My dear husband hasn't had much vacation and much of the time off he has had has come when I couldn't be off and leave town.
2. It is very difficult to tell a beloved family member that only one day of your week-long trip is dedicated to them. When you're going back 'home' to visit, there is a lot of ground to cover (hooray for unlimited miles). We find we have more quality time with our loved ones when people come to visit us.
Well, with my husband's current job as a stay-at-home-dad and half-time college student, he have some time off to spare. Unfortunately, on one income, we don't have oodles of extra money.
I suggested to my husband that, since we had the time available, we use the money we would spend on Christmas gifts to travel 'home' and visit our families. I proposed that only the kids exchange gifts and that no one buy us anything.
You would have thought I was the Grinch that Stole Christmas.
No, no Betty Lou Who. No holiday joy for you! And may I ask you dear, while you're standing here, if you remember what I gave you last year? An unremarkable bauble or gift card to sears? My friend's brother's first novel or a year's worth of beer? You don't recall? I am appalled! Please think for a second what you got for a present!
Please.
I don't remember what my husband gave me last year. I don't remember what I gave him. It really isn't important.
To make my point, I told him that we were actually spending the same amount of money as we normally would. The airfare alone is $1200 and the car will be at least $300. For each of the 20 people we will see there for whom we normally buy gifts, this comes out to $75 each and that's more that we would have spent on them otherwise. The would get the pleasure of our company and several of them would get to meet our darling son for the first time.
He still wasn't convinced.
"Ok," I said. "Call your mother right now and ask her if she'd rather have another Harry and David's basket or us come home for Christmas this year." He didn't exactly say that when he called to tell her, but she did squeal with delight at the news. ¶ 21:35
